Change your Mind Set + Change your business
Is your mindset holding you back? Are you believing the little lies that creep into our subconscious as we scroll through Instagram? Do you look at your Pinterest feed and suddenly feel depressed? Social media has created a world where everything and everyone looks perfect, has the perfect home, the perfect career and really good looking kids (who also are always obedient and look like they stepped out of a J Crew catalog. Meanwhile I am chasing my kids around the house, trying to get them in the bath tub after they once again rubbed squash in their hair and drew on their belly with my lipstick #reallife #momissues).
Here's the good news, you are not alone. We all suffer from the social media delusion but I have to drop a truth bomb on ya....are you ready? You are choosing to believe these lies. You are letting the outside world impact your attitude and ultimately your success. Today I am going to debunk 4 lies we are telling ourselves and give you practical steps that you can take to change your mindset. I truly believe that when we stop believing these lies we can finally break free and reach our highest potential.
LIE #1 - THERE IS NEVER ENOUGH TIME
If you are living in the US in modern day you have millions of choices of how you can use the 24 hours in your day. We are a blessed culture whom often suffer from our first world (real or imagined) problems. We feel as if we need to pack as much as we can into those 24 hours each day and often choose to sacrifice important things like sleep just to ensure we can do it all and be everything to everyone.
It's true, we only have 24 hours in a day but here's a hard truth. You will always make time for the things you consider important in your life. It's all about knowing what you value and then getting your actions inline with your values.
HOW TO CHANGE YOUR MINDSET
Stop comparing yourself to others.
You do not have to be like everyone else. What you value may not be what others value and therefore how they spend their time, money and resources may be incredibly different. Keep your values and goals front of mind and make an effort to avoid the temptation to compare yourself to someone else's business or accomplishments.
Stop making busy a badge of honor.
There is nothing cool or sexy about being the person who says, "oh gosh, we have just been so busy." Honestly, I feel sorry for those people. Those are the people who are scheduling every minutes of the day from the moment they wake up to when their head hits the pillow. Those are the people who feel the need to do it all. Volunteer in their kids classroom, on their lunch hour from work forcing them to eat a fruit roll up as their "lunch" because they have to get to a meeting in 5 minutes. If volunteering in your 6 year olds class is important to you then you should by all means be doing it but that means something else has got to give. And if you decide that you just have to be this busy, guess what? That's cool for you but not my problem.
Make self care a priority.
Somewhere along the way while we have been worrying about packing bag lunches, finishing work presentations and doing the laundry we forgot one really important thing, to take care of ourselves. On your list of all the things to do in your day don't forget what you should be doing first. We can not achieve our goals and take care of everyone else if we first don't take care of ourselves. Self care can take many forms - getting your 10k steps in everyday, or hitting the gym three days a week, maybe it's getting a massage or seeing the chiropractor. Whatever self care looks like for you make it your number one priority. You'll be surprised how suddenly you feel like you have more time because you took that hour long walk - you now feel motivated, focused and you listened to a podcast along the way. Now you're ready to take on the rest of your day.
LIE #2 - SCARCITY VS. ABUNDANCE
The scarcity mindset revolves around the idea that there simply isn’t enough to go around. If you're a photographer does it ever feel like everyone is around you is suddenly a photographer? Or if you become an ambassador for a MLM company everyone you meet is also selling the same product? This idea makes it seem that there is only a limited amount of clients or customers out there and that there is not enough clients for everyone. One of the hallmarks of a scarcity mindset is that for every winner, there must be at least one loser. Not everyone can win because there simply isn’t enough to go around. Listen up girl, this is just not true.
HOW TO CHANGE YOUR MINDSET
Reduce your social media consumption.
Almost every form of media, in some way, revolves around cultivating desire for things you don’t have, which is a key element of the scarcity mindset.
The best way to battle that onslaught is to simply reduce your media consumption. Take an hour where you might have scrolled through instagram or poured over the facebook profiles of your peers. Instead, spend that time working on you or your business. Do something that will move you forward instead of just worrying about what everyone else in doing.
LIE #3 - I HAVE NOTHING UNIQUE TO OFFER
If you're like me you think your life is pretty darn mundane. You think you live in a boring town and think that basically there is nothing interesting about you that sets you apart from others. Whenever I meet someone new I am usually blown away by how interesting they are and want to know more! I went to a party recently and chatted with a friend who owns cows and does genetic engineering to breed prize winning cattle. He has 60 frozen cattle embryos in nitrogen storage. I was enthralled. I had a million questions. I grew up in Wisconsin but know very little about farming so I was seriously interested. The funny thing was that he thought it was not very interesting and laughed at me because I was so excited about it.
We take for granted how special we are because we are just too close to it. We all have unique talents and even if you were to write an article on this same topic you would have a totally different perspective and it would be vastly different. You DO have a unique perspective to offer!
HOW TO CHANGE YOUR MINDSET
Create before you consume.
If you're like me you listen to several business podcasts and follow several online marketers and educators. I love all of their amazing content but sometimes after I listen to their podcasts, read their blogs and watch their videos I feel like I have nothing more to add to the conversation, that I really don't have a perspective that is THAT much different.
To combat this I make a habit of creating my content early in the day. I don't allow myself to get sucked into Instagram, Facebook or check on any blogs. The first thing I do is look at my content creation calendar and get started on creating my content. Sure, the topics I am often addressing have all been written about before but they haven't been written from my perspective or in my voice. By creating before consuming you also avoid comparing yourself to others and some of those other pesky lies we tend to believe.
LIE #4 - LIFE (+ BUSINESS) IS A COMPETITION
This is one of the biggest fattest lies out there and if you are believing in this craziness you are literally holding yourself back from true greatness. It can be a pretty lonely world when you decide to view your peers as competitors rather than lovely ladies and gents who are part of a community. This whole mindset plays off of the abundance vs. scarcity lie. If you believe that you are on a daily basis competing with your peers to serve the same clients or customers you will only be making your life more difficult. You cannot serve every person and not every client is your client. You can't be the educator for everyone, nor can you take photos of everyone's wedding.
When you change your mindset to value community over competition you open yourself up to a world where you can build meaningful relationships with your peers to learn from one another and support one another. Guess what, you and the photographer down the road are both struggling.
HOW TO CHANGE YOUR MINDSET
Connect with your peers.
Sometimes I don't want to do it. Sometimes I make the excuse that I just don't have time. But then I do this thing I'm dreading it and something magical happens. I feel better. What am I talking about? Get togethers with my peers. A few weeks ago someone reached out to me after they listened to one of my recent podcasts. She explained in her e-mail that she lived in my community and was also a self-employed girl boss and was wondering if I'd like to meet. These days I guard my time pretty closely so to take an hour out of my day to meet a stranger for coffee seemed like a risk, but something in my gut told me to go for it.
After meeting this person at Starbucks for an hour I felt so energized and really just blessed by our visit. I learned so much in that one hour and knew from the start that this is someone who could be a true friend. There was something so energizing about chatting with someone just like me who could really relate with my business and the challenges I face.
Later that week I connected with a photographer friend that I met years ago at a bridal show (we were both peddling our wedding photography). From the start we decided to build a relationship on friendship and shared experiences. It didn't bother us that we had booths right next to one another and that we were both looking for bookings in the same community. We've now known one another for over three years and we make a point to get together on a regular basis to check in with one another on our businesses.
By fostering these friendships I feel that I have built a sense of community and really a network of people that I can turn to for advice and sometimes just a shoulder to cry on. We all know that being self-employed can be incredibly amazing but also incredibly difficult. If I could give a new small business owner any advice it would be to build a community of other business owners who you like and trust.
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